Addictions come in all shapes and sizes and we, as humans, all have them. Some have far more reaching consequences than others but all addictions stop us from reaching our highest potential. I have several addictions that I recognize more and more and one of them was the Do It Yourself Addiction. I am a recovering DIY addict.
Are you one of those people who has to Do It Yourself? Are you a perfectionist and feel like no one else can do it as well as you? Are you a ‘control~freak?’ Are you one who is slow to ask for help or support? Do you often say to yourself “I can’t afford that” or my personal favorite “It’s just easier for me to do it myself.” If you answered yes to any of these, you probably have a tendency toward the DIY addiction.
Why is DIY attitude an addiction? Quite simply because we are not meant to be able to do everything. We do not have the time, the energy, or the capabilities. Too, we are not meant to be ‘alone’ in this world. It is designed to work as an integrated unit filled with systems that support one another. Think about it…our ecosystem is a perfect illustration of this. Nothing can exist without the support of something else. When one species becomes extinct, another one becomes at risk. Take this theory and apply it to humans and our ability to get things done. We are all dependent upon one another. I certainly could not have a cell phone without the support of thousands of people who designed, developed and delivered it to me. AND, I certainly need help figuring out how to use it ~ it would take me WAY too long to do that by myself.
Think for a moment what your greatest dreams and desires are.…most people say to spend more time doing something else. How you create that for yourself is by having people support you and not by doing-it- (everything) yourself! An example is this: I want to spend more time with you. Yes, that’s my burning desire. To spend more time with my clients and those who follow me sharing my unique abilities to help people create more clarity in their lives and re-align their energies for more abundance and prosperity, more joy and live their lives on purpose. If I were to spend ALL my time doing ALL the techno-schtuff that it takes to run my business, I would NOT be able to serve more people. I am NOT techno-efficient!
TWO things you need to do to Kick the Do It Yourself (DIY) ADDICTION. It’s THAT simple ~ Surround & Surrender.
1) Surround Yourself with People who will support you. Friends, assistants, colleagues. Only include the people who will hold a space of support ~ who allow you to dream largely and laugh loudly.
This is my VIP Golden Group ~ a group of women aspiring to inspire the world with their unique abilities. It was taken last July when we first met together and gathered in a sacred environment to share our fears and dreams and grow together. We still connect often and support one another through challenges and achievements. I’m honored to be part of this sister-hood. Surrounding myself with women like this is priceless.
2) Surrender to your needs. Admit to yourself that you can not do it all, that you are NOT meant to be perfect, that the world needs you to spend more time doing exactly what you are meant to be doing ~ not the things that you are not brilliant at. Ask for the help and support that you need. Really ASK and it will be right around the corner for you.
What tendencies do you have to want to Do It Yourself? How can you counter-act that this week?
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I’m Charlotte and I’m a DIY Addict.
What you say is true, and I’m learning that taking away from my own brilliance to do a task that is not within my scope of practice is a waste of time and talent.
There are money constraints (can’t afford a housekeeper yet) but I am finding that it’s easier to cough up $20 than it is to let wet leaves rot on my roof or to leave the furnace filter unchanged for another month. What’s important is that the task is now off the list, and my energy can be turned toward my own goal.
Comment by Charlotte Henley Babb — January 13, 2013 @ 9:22 am
Charlotte! Welcome to the Recovering DIY addict club 🙂 You get it!!! And, I’ve understood the money constraints all too well. When I release the “I can’t afford” and shift it to “How Can I” or simply say “I have the support I need” typically some abundance is given to me that I release into getting more support and it becomes a win~gain~ win for all!!! Glad your energy is shifting toward your OWN goals 🙂
Comment by Laura Clark — January 13, 2013 @ 9:28 am
This is a great post. And how true! I spent years thinking that only I could do the many tasks around the house. It takes a lot of effort to say, “ok, I’m going to let someone else do this job so I can do the things I truly enjoy and am good at.” Sometimes we have to say, “how can I not afford to pay someone to do this.” Right?
Comment by Chris Loehmer Kincaid — January 13, 2013 @ 9:58 am
Love the reframe, Chris. “How can I NOT afford” to delegate this or pay for that! So True!!!
Comment by Laura Clark — January 13, 2013 @ 11:16 am
Boy did I need to hear this today. The time and energy I’ve spent trying to do it all myself has been debilitating. Too many little tasks that are necessary but time wasters for me. And too many pieces of a complex puzzle that I suck at and have no desire to learn how to do. Now I’m moving into a space of letting others handle those areas. I find that if I communicate the job as specifically as possible I’m happier with the results and more likely to “trust” others to do those things in the future. Thanks for the tips, support and advice.
Comment by Lori F Dean — January 13, 2013 @ 9:58 am
Isn’t it amazing, Lori, that the messages we get are so important at any particular moment. Glad you are making those steps forward for yourself!! KEEP SMILING
Comment by Laura Clark — January 13, 2013 @ 11:15 am
I love knowing things. My husband and I renovated our house and did the majority of work ourselves. I love the intention we built into our house. How each part of our “new” home truly reflexes us. To know each part is done well and is complete. This was possible because my husband worked out on the road making very good money so that I could stay home and accomplish “AMAZING” things. There is a time and place to find others to let them do the work they do well. Our kitchen is one of those places. I found a local cabinet maker that did an incredible job building and installing our cabinets that brought the whole house together. From him I learned as well. Plumbing, caulking, trims. To me learning and growing is important. I would never make someone do something I wouldn’t. Yes DIY is a big part of my life. Addicted – only to the incredible knowledge that I can put into my head!!
Comment by Heidi Stingl Adams — January 13, 2013 @ 10:11 am
I think, Heidi, the difference between DIY addiction and what you describe is about honoring WHAT you want to learn and WHAT you should give up to continue to strive toward your Big Bold & Beautiful Self. I have a friend who runs a mega-business. She knows when to delegate to keep the cogs moving forward. But, she built a garden in her backyard last summer. NOT in her unique brilliance but it was a DESIRE to grow her own produce. Her’s and your ‘addiction’ is about doing things you want to learn and grow from rather than from a stubbornness not to delegate and ‘excuses’ not to! Great thoughts, thank you!
Comment by Laura Clark — January 13, 2013 @ 11:14 am
Great ideas. I agree, I m always taking on too much!
Comment by Carol Tomany — January 13, 2013 @ 10:39 am
The word “No” entered my vocabulary a few years ago…I’m now embracing “I’d be honored if you could help me do xyz”
Comment by Laura Clark — January 13, 2013 @ 11:10 am
This is such an important question for mompreneurs to ask themselves… DIY addict is a GREAT way to look at an otherwise very admirable quality. When you consistently apply this in your business, you very simply and quickly reach burn out! Thanks Laura!
Comment by Cena Block from SaneSpaces.com — August 1, 2013 @ 11:42 am