You may have finished a presentation, given a speech,or even hosted a party. And, you were GREAT! It Rocked and it was such a success! And, people are trying to give you praise, thank you and even applaud.
Do you say ‘oh gee it was nothing’
Do you say ‘gee, it wasn’t that hard ~ anyone could do it’
Do you shrink from it by physical turning away perhaps even blushing?
Do you cross your arms in front of you deflecting the praise away from you?
Do you even giggle?
Not accepting the praise diminishes the effect of the job you did. If you do this, some may find you conceited. Some might find you unapproachable.And, in fact, not accepting the praise doesn’t allow the person or people who are offering it to GIVE what they want to to you.
Your words are important but sometimes ~especially in the case of a speech ~ can not be heard. In this case, how you hold yourself is very important. Here are a few nonverbal clues you can use to show your appreciation
Praise also allows you to see the job you’ve done. In the end, it doesn’t matter the kind of praise that you get from others really. What matters most is the kind of praise you give yourself. Giving yourself the kind of praise other’s gives you is important. It is important even critical to growing in personal strength. This kind of positive, well-deserved praise bolsters self-confidence, that allows you to move forward and take the next step toward your success.
Think back to the last time you were given praise. How did you accept it?
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I loved this post! For most of my life I was one of those people who could not accept a compliment, who never felt good enough and always felt like I could have done better – at whatever it was. I realized this was ingrained in me and modeled by my grandmother and mother. I have worked hard the past few years to just say “thank you.” Nothing else, no explanation or asking for forgivness, just soaking it up! Thanks for sharing this.
Comment by Minette Riordan — October 5, 2012 @ 10:54 pm
So glad you recognized this for yourself ~ and I applaud < yes, accept the praise! > your being able to soak up people’s gratitude for all that you do!!!!!!!!! 🙂
Comment by Laura Clark — October 6, 2012 @ 8:41 am
I think that accepting compliments graciously is a skill that needs to be learned. I actually have spent time with my daughters explaining the proper way to accept a compliment, even if they feel it is unwarranted or whatever. I still struggle with this sometimes, when I’m not feeling confident, but I at least go through the motions. When someone compliments you and you don’t accept the compliment graciously, then you are simply being rude to that person, even if you just downplay your efforts because you are in essence saying that the person who complimented you doesn’t know what they are talking about…Hmm, it’s late at night this was a much longer comment than I intended…
Comment by Emily — October 6, 2012 @ 2:48 am
I agree! It’s a skill and like many skills it needs to be learned ~ either by intuition or by being taught. So glad you are doing that with your girls!!!!
And, longer comments often generate very wonderful insights ~ thank you! KEEP SMILING
Comment by Laura Clark — October 6, 2012 @ 8:40 am
Hi Laura,
This is a very important conversation so thank you for bringing it up! I wish they would teach this in school. It is one of those basic human life skills that everyone needs and so few teach it, so thanks for being one of the few!
Comment by Amy Putkonen — October 8, 2012 @ 6:27 am
I was never taught this until I was studying from a mentor of mine and watched how she accepted it when talking with people and from on the stage. I think so much should be taught-in schools, churches and homes about gratitude…you may like https://soulwiseliving.com/2012/04/18/youre-welcome-not-using-it-diminishes-the-return-of-gratitude/ it’s a post I wrote about “you’re welcome” as well.
Comment by Laura Clark — October 8, 2012 @ 7:48 am
With age, I’ve learned how to accept praise with grace. However, there are some people that offer a compliment every time they see me. That’s nice, but it feels like I should offer a compliment as well and I’m more reserved when offering praise. It really means something when I praise somebody because it’s not automatic. Awkward!
Comment by Kimberly — October 8, 2012 @ 2:38 pm
I so understand this Kimberly! The tit-for-tat of compliments back and forth for the sake of being ‘nice’ is more about manners, I guess, than praise. I am also one who gives praise when I see it in action!!
Comment by Laura Clark — October 8, 2012 @ 3:18 pm