Can you hear yourself complaining to others? What do you typically say? Can you hear yourself complaining to yourself? What do you typically say? Complaining serves no purpose. None what-so-ever. But, if you are complaining, you are not focusing on what is important in your life. So, how do you stop complaining?
Dale Carnegie said “Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving.” You stop complaining by making a commitment to elevate your life. Then you:
First: you must realize that you ARE complaining. Sometimes, it’s easy to see. Other times, you rationalize that it’s not complaining. Listen to your words and the words of others carefully. Check in with yourself. Do these words raise UP your energy and your vibration? or Do they lower them? If they lower them, then it’s a complaint.
Second: simply stop complaining! If you are trying to attract wonderful things into your life, complaining will not bring them to you. The Universe will hear your complaints and answer with more to complain about. Complaining is simply a way to focus on unhappiness and a life that is ‘less than’. It allows you to be a martyr and a victim and who wants that? Start focusing on solutions and move forward from there.
Three: complain. But ONLY if it is a MUST do complaint, something that really really irritates you or emotionally ignites you, excuse yourself from where you are and physically step away for a moment. Complain to the Universe and then say “I’m okay now and ready to stop. I’m glad I got that out. I’m ready now to be rewarded for shifting my energy.” Go back to what you were doing with a renewed attitude. It’s easy to stop complaining with this step.
I have nieces and nephews and whenever I hear them begin to complain as children often do, I ask them “What does Aunt La say?” and they know now the rules of my house “No whining, no crying, no fussing, no problems.” It may not be as simple as that but typically saying this reminds them that they have to find solutions to the challenges they may be having. Good advice for us older ones! Yes, sometimes, you simply have to get it out. So, do that.
Fourth: make a commitment to stop complaining. Today! In our house, we sign a contract. Yes, that’s right. To stop complaining, when we feel that we are slipping from focusing our attention on what are solutions, steps forward and the joys that are our’s, we sign a contract. It goes something like this:
For the next <insert period of time> I <insert name> hereby commit to raising my vibrational energy by giving up all forms of complaining. If I find myself falling into a place of ‘whining, crying, fussing and complaining, I will stop in my tracts and turn my energy onto the positive “Where intention goes, Energy will flow” By doing this, I will attract more blessings and continue to embrace my inner-spirit and build my days upon my dreams. Signed: <sign name> Date: < add date>
This stop complaining contract allows for a complain-free space. Why don’t you try it? It even works with younger kids ~ just ask my nieces and nephews! I suggest a period of time no less than 28 days for that is the time it has been shown to create a new habit. It will help you create an environment that supports you rather than deflates you. Have you ever had a Stop Complaining Contract or something like this?
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Thankfully, I stopped complaining a long time ago. You’re right about just zipping it and not complaining anymore. Everything around me became brighter and happier, my family especially. But being the human that I am, I falter sometimes but when I start complaining I just remind myself that people around me get affected, too.
This was such a great piece! Thanks for sharing! 🙂
[Reply]
Laura Clark Reply:
January 3rd, 2013 at 10:51 am
You’re right, Frances! We all falter in this but when you make that conscious effort to STOP when you do falter you can get back on course with much greater ease. Glad you and your family are brighter and happier….we need more of that in the world! KEEP SMILING 🙂
[Reply]
Comment by Frances — January 3, 2013 @ 8:24 am
OMG – I love this. I think I will be doing this myself… and I will get my partner to do it too 🙂
[Reply]
Laura Clark Reply:
January 3rd, 2013 at 6:26 pm
It’s AMAZING to have it in your home with your family. It really changes the dynamics and for the BETTER! I can attest to that personally. So, glad you’re going to do it.Let me know how it goes! KEEP SMILING 🙂
[Reply]
Comment by Terry — January 3, 2013 @ 6:12 pm
Hi Laura,
Great way to ease out negativity, most especially at home. I would love to have this mindset in our family. A request: Is is possible to share how much things have changed within your family when you implemented this? That would be great to read.
Thanks for this!
Maria
[Reply]
Laura Clark Reply:
January 4th, 2013 at 3:15 am
Maria! Sure…..The first time we did this, my partner and I were at ends. He was complaining about work, colleagues and the amount of house~work that needed to be done and how tired he was. I was complaining about his complaining and actually was finding excuses not to be around him. Needless to say, those are not a great combination to a relationship ~ complaining + avoiding = chaos. After the first week of signing this contract together, we were laughing~ catching ourselves, stepping out on to our deck A LOT and ‘yelling’ for 30 seconds and then coming back together to figure something out. He ended up happier at work, playing more music at home (always a good sign!) and chores seemed to flow. Me, I helped out more and was happy to be around him. Needless to say non-complaining + communicating + laughing = Great Relationship! Hope this helps you ! Let me know if you try it! KEEP SMILING
[Reply]
Comment by Maria Silvo — January 3, 2013 @ 10:46 pm