How to deal with loss during the holidays

The holiday season can be one filled with melancholy when dealing with a loss of a loved. Losses from the past may raise distant memories and evoke sadness when you least expect it. Recent losses make the holiday season more difficult when they are ‘firsts’. Either way, it’s important to step into the season with intention around what you desire. Creating this intention goes a long way in how to deal with losss during the holiday season in a way that will allow you the most comfort.

How to Deal with Loss During the Holidays is as unique and personal as the individual gone. Click To Tweet

Recent Losses and How to Deal with this loss during the holidays.

Acceptance as a way of moving through each day and each moment. When we can accept that things will be different, the holidays will become lighter. Traditions of the past will be different. How you prepare for the holidays will be different. The way you see the holiday season will be different. Yes, the holidays will be different and accepting it rather than trying to keep them the same will allow you to ease the pain, honor your loved one by creating a new relationship with them during this time.

How to Accept Losses, past or present and How to deal with the loss during the holidays

Remember that not everyone grieves in the same way and that people will remember loved ones different from year to year. Having patience and compassion, with yourself and others, will guide you through this time.

People will want to spend the holidays differently and this may not match the way you want to. Having honest conversations and setting the intentions beforehand will help you create the best possible one for all.

Be honest with yourself. Find some quiet time and ask what you really want this season to mean. Then compassionately and courageously tell others what you DO want and what you DON’T want and allow them to process and understand this.

Give yourself plenty of space and time to navigate any and all events. Allow things to flow more organically. Saying Yes to those things you want to do and No to those things that you know will not serve you.

How to Deal with Loss During the Holidays and Your Traditions

One thing that we know will evoke emotions for us are the traditions we keep during the holidays that we embraced with our loved ones. Now, that they are not near, traditions will take on an entirely new meaning. Some traditions may no longer serve you and you may want to release them. Others, you will want to tweak to honor memories. It may also be time to create new ones.

Changing a tradition is not dishonoring someone’s memory. It is about allowing yourself to create a new relationship with them. It shows the changing energetic dynamic now that one has gone and honors them in a new way.

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One way to do this is to change up gift giving. Creating new and meaningful ways of seasonal gift-giving allows you to honor and connect with the memory of a loved one gone. Here are just a few ideas:

~ Change your home’s wreath. Make a memorial wreath (or decoration) in honor of your loved one.
~ Change Gift-giving Up. Skip or minimize it knowing that material things are less significant this year. Create the gift of time sharing a memory of your loved one that makes you laugh and smile.
~ Buy a Gift for your loved one and donate it to a worthy cause. ( Each year, I buy doggie blankets and donate them to the animal shelter in honor of my past 4 paw children )
~ Buy a gift for yourself that your loved one would have thought to by. Wrap it. Open it with gee and thank them!
~Make the person’s favorite dish or the one they always made and give it to a neighbor.

See How Creating New Holiday Traditions Allows one to deal with loss during the holidays Click To Tweet

Create a New Tradition that connects you to your loved one. This is one of the best ways to deal with the loss of a loved one during the holidays. It allows you to connect with them during this most challenging time and honor their memory and your relationship with them.

Having these traditions, year to year, allows you to honor their memory. We all remember our loved ones during the holidays and the losses from the past can be just as challenging and emotional as new losses. These new traditions will make those times less difficult because of the loving energy with which you create them. Here are a few ideas:

~ play their favorite music while wrapping presents~create a special holiday photo album of memories, light a candle and spend time reminiscing the joy in your relationship
~have a moment of silence during a specific time of the holiday
~place a setting at the table for them and share in conversation with them.
~do something ‘with’ them. Take a sacred walk and talk with them. ( I have tea with my Mom each year…setting out her tea service, getting dressed up and serving ‘high’ tea like she loved and having a conversation with her. I’m always amazed at how this makes me feel each year. )

Self Care as a way of dealing with loss during the holiday season.

It goes without saying that self-care is vital to the holidays. But, when you’ve had a loss or you feel the loss of years past rise up within you, it’s even more important for you to step into self-care. Getting plenty of rest, exercise, eating right and stepping out into fresh air often is imperative to managing your stress. During these holiday season, deciding if you want to see family and friends, engage with others or create more space for your self is important. Saying no when you need to and not over commit with yesses so that you can manage the emotions of the season well.

Remember the holidays are meant to be joyful and it is okay for you to feel joy, happiness, and love. How you deal with holiday loss is unique and personal and receiving joy and happiness during the season does not diminish how you loved someone and miss them during the holidays. By creating new traditions and honoring their memory, you will be able to feel the love and joy around you without feeling guilty for doing so.